I was drinking too much, so I swapped booze for tea

The Independent

Republished by Yahoo! and MSN

I knew I had a problem with binge drinking after I urinated in a washing machine. I was living in the college dorms, but my sick roommate locked himself in our bathroom, so I stood on the nearest top loader and relieved myself. When I discovered a friend doing laundry the next day in the same machine, I offered to re-wash his clothes.

Po-tay-to Po-tah-to
Potomac Review, Issue 65

I pick up a white box with colorful imagery of DNA. The middle of the box reads,
Welcome to you.
Had I never met me?

Rosemary, Sage, and Fear

Dried rosemary looks like chopped pine needles. I sprinkle them on course coffee grounds for my morning cup. I add rubbed sage while water boils in the microwave for me to pour over the culminating mixture of what I hope will prevent a future with a skull-full of amyloid plaque.

The Tyranny of Lawns and Landlords

High Country News, July 12th, 2019

Before I rented my first house in Boise, Idaho, a city with little precipitation and lengthy dry spells, I dreamt of having a xeriscaped paradise complete with a pollinator garden, raised beds of squashes with drip irrigation, and a rain-catchment system to store all the water I needed for my yard. Ten years and three houses later, I am scattering seeds of Kentucky bluegrass and pellets of fertilizer, and routinely using the sprinkler. What happened to my dream?

Butcher Block
Massachusetts Review, Volume 60, Issue 1

In the backroom of the meat and seafood department, a butcher was stabbing a hunk of meat. His face twitched with each pounding thrust.

Bask in the Color of the Table
Eastern Iowa Review, Issue 6

Maud Martha and I share a kitchenette, and no, it wasn’t the one we wanted.

Fall in Love with the Intricate Leaf Art of Susanna Bauer
Crixeo (magazine closed, .pdf available)

The familiar crunch of dried leaves is one of the great pleasures of autumn, but when Susanna Bauer uses leaves to create highly detailed crocheted sculptures, she barely makes a sound with her tiny needles and fine thread. What compels someone to take a leaf and put a needle through it?

We Need a Captain Planet Reboot
Crixeo (magazine closed, .pdf available)

If there’s one thing that could bring new attention to environmental issues in a way that Al Gore can’t, it’s Captain Planet. The inconvenient truth is that what the planet needs right now isn’t scientific consensus; it’s fandom.

The Ghost in My Shower
Thin Air Literary Magazine, Issue 20

I never believed in ghosts until I started showering with one.

Being the Skinny Guy
The Goodmen Project

“Your hips are pointy,” my friends say. They examine the curve of bone that rises above my swim trunks and declare this fact as if it had never occurred to me.